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Well the tail is going to be a pain in the butt pretty much every time compared to the body. The scales are a lot closer together it seems. Let me know if the soap trick works though! I'm sure Fraenir's tail is getting pretty itchy. XD
The color change is probably one or both of two things. As babies, Tegus are a LOT more colorful, and they lose it as they age. When they're going into shed, they will dull in color as well. So he's either just really young still, or he's just about to shed. You shouldn't need to worry about...
I've already done all the sex checks, and unfortunately they all point to Fraenir being female, but I've also been told by people including Rodney that sometimes it can take quite some time for the male bits to show up.