# What NOT To Say To Your Valentine



## DaveDragon (Feb 13, 2008)

These were entries for a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was p***ed.

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.
But what have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell!"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.


----------



## playlboi (Feb 13, 2008)

haha, those are awesome dude.

i'll print a couple out and pass it out to all the females i know.

lol. j/k


----------



## gebris353 (Feb 13, 2008)

Haha yeah they are funny... having a laugh with my dad, shh mom is in the kitchen lol


----------



## WhiskeyTango (Feb 13, 2008)

LOL thats nice.


----------



## DZLife (Feb 13, 2008)

Did you write that? That's pretty funny!


----------



## Dragon_girl (Feb 14, 2008)

hahah thats pretty good.


----------



## DaveDragon (Feb 14, 2008)

DZLife said:


> Did you write that? That's pretty funny!


No, I found this in another forum.

I'm sure if we put our heads together we could come up with some good ones!!!


----------



## KoreanDeathKid (Feb 14, 2008)

lol, nice
I still don't have a valentine for some reason, anyway, Happy Valentines Day :-D


----------



## gebris353 (Feb 14, 2008)

Just mention your big lizard, when girls hear that they will love you! I know it for experience! :-D


----------



## DZLife (Feb 14, 2008)

All my female friends are stoked about the fact that I am getting a Tegu---it's mostly the GUYS that are scared!!!!


----------

