# bonding



## squirt (May 25, 2021)

*what is a good way to bond with a tagu.*


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## Josh (May 26, 2021)

Feeding them their favorite food


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## squirt (Jun 1, 2021)

thank you


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## Debita (Jun 14, 2021)

All your attention won't go unnoticed! Paying attention to his/her fears, and general upkeep goes a long way. Knowing when to back away, or when to push yourself on a Tegu is an art. You have to learn to read him/her.


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## Kimberly (Jun 14, 2021)

I’ve had my Tegu for about three weeks now, he doesn’t sent to trust me yet. Seems mean when I try to make a food peace offering, then I just leave him alone. Is it normal for him to be sort of aggressive? if I leave him alone will he ever get used to human contact? Or is he still trying to get used to his new home? He is about 8months almost 2 feet long


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## Debita (Jun 15, 2021)

I don't know how old yours is, but 2 things could be going on - 1) He is adjusting to his new home, and is scared and threatened. Three weeks or more is quite normal for them to adjust. If he's super young, then that's probably the answer. They lash out, try to escape, hide, stop eating, bite, charge, huff/puff...etc. It's a process they go through until they surrender to their new environment. It can take a long time, or a short time, but it's almost never a smooth transition when they are in a new home. 2) If he's turning a year old or so - he may be going through puberty. This is a difficult time for them, hormones are raging and you have to let them have their fits and moods. The key here is to approach with caution and if they're pissed off, then you wait until you get a moment when there's a better mood going on. It's a way of letting them know that they don't get anywhere when they're aggressive.

Bad news is that you may have both going on - in which case you'll need a LOT of patience. That happened to me, and it was a long 10 months before he decided I was worthy of his affection. Most owners don't go through this - but you should know it's possible - because your patience will eventually pay off. I don't know any member here who disagrees with that. Everyone knows - to have a Tegu requires a unique patience and ability to read your animal.


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## Kimberly (Jun 16, 2021)

Debita said:


> I don't know how old yours is, but 2 things could be going on - 1) He is adjusting to his new home, and is scared and threatened. Three weeks or more is quite normal for them to adjust. If he's super young, then that's probably the answer. They lash out, try to escape, hide, stop eating, bite, charge, huff/puff...etc. It's a process they go through until they surrender to their new environment. It can take a long time, or a short time, but it's almost never a smooth transition when they are in a new home. 2) If he's turning a year old or so - he may be going through puberty. This is a difficult time for them, hormones are raging and you have to let them have their fits and moods. The key here is to approach with caution and if they're pissed off, then you wait until you get a moment when there's a better mood going on. It's a way of letting them know that they don't get anywhere when they're aggressive.
> 
> Bad news is that you may have both going on - in which case you'll need a LOT of patience. That happened to me, and it was a long 10 months before he decided I was worthy of his affection. Most owners don't go through this - but you should know it's possible - because your patience will eventually pay off. I don't know any member here who disagrees with that. Everyone knows - to have a Tegu requires a unique patience and ability to read your animal.


Thank you for the info! I will be patient with him, my concern is that i see people force handling them and I simply don’t feel comfortable with that. If we wait till he grows up a bit and he lowers his guard will he ever let us handle him? Or is force handling something that comes with trying to tame your tegu?


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## Debita (Jun 17, 2021)

I think force handling is "generally" thought of as intrusive, and I absolutely believe that it is hard on the animal. The idea being - if the animal is feisty/aggressive at any moment, you let them calm down by not escalating the situation. Going back to test the waters (so to speak) two hours later is absolutely smart. You don't want to leave them alone for extended periods of time - you just want to approach with the idea that if he/she is not having your advances, and is feeling threatened, you back off so it knows it's not your intention to do harm. If you are imposing your will instead, it can prolong the period of disconnect that it's feeling. Sometimes, all you get to do in a day is put your hand into it's enclosure and sit there for a period of time, allowing the animal to understand that your presence is not a threat. They're super smart and they will come around when enough time passes (which seems to be different for every animal) for them to realize you're a friendly life form.

Putting an old worn shirt or a piece of one into the enclosure is a great way to keep your scent close to him. They dig around it and completely destroy it, but all the while they are getting used to your smell without any effort on your part.

You not feeling good about forcing him to conform to your desires tells me you have good instincts. You'll have a good buddy down the road. I know this works, and I just personally feel it's easier on the animal. Just to be clear though, I always went back every day to see if he was ready for advancing our relationship. So - leaving him alone is not how I'd describe it. Hope this makes sense! Good luck!


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## Kimberly (Jun 17, 2021)

Debita said:


> I think force handling is "generally" thought of as intrusive, and I absolutely believe that it is hard on the animal. The idea being - if the animal is feisty/aggressive at any moment, you let them calm down by not escalating the situation. Going back to test the waters (so to speak) two hours later is absolutely smart. You don't want to leave them alone for extended periods of time - you just want to approach with the idea that if he/she is not having your advances, and is feeling threatened, you back off so it knows it's not your intention to do harm. If you are imposing your will instead, it can prolong the period of disconnect that it's feeling. Sometimes, all you get to do in a day is put your hand into it's enclosure and sit there for a period of time, allowing the animal to understand that your presence is not a threat. They're super smart and they will come around when enough time passes (which seems to be different for every animal) for them to realize you're a friendly life form.
> 
> Putting an old worn shirt or a piece of one into the enclosure is a great way to keep your scent close to him. They dig around it and completely destroy it, but all the while they are getting used to your smell without any effort on your part.
> 
> You not feeling good about forcing him to conform to your desires tells me you have good instincts. You'll have a good buddy down the road. I know this works, and I just personally feel it's easier on the animal. Just to be clear though, I always went back every day to see if he was ready for advancing our relationship. So - leaving him alone is not how I'd describe it. Hope this makes sense! Good luck!


You’re awesome and thank you so much!!!


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## Sean32817 (Jul 28, 2021)

You have to get them used to your physical presence first - when I first got Rex I had set up his tank in my home office so that he could watch me while I worked.

I gave him several hides and for the first few weeks his SOP was that so long as I didn't stand up or make any sudden movements he would just do his thing and keep an eye on me.

He eventually figured out I wasn't a threat to him and while he would pay more attention if I stood up, he wasn't hiding any more and eventually he started coming over to eat when I put food in his home rather than waiting for me to leave first.

At that point you can start petting them and getting them used to your scent and eventually pick them up and let them either walk around on the couch or floor with you sitting next to them or place them on your lap.

Make sure to have an old towel doubled over when they're on your lap as Rex had a few accidents - or defensive vacating of his bowels - and tegu poo isn't fun to deal with.


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